Where the Hell Have I Been? Pt. II
Love, Life, and Death
Hello everyone.
This is my first post in five months. Please forgive my absence. Life has, to put it bluntly, been a tad fucked. I mean that in the sense that it has gotten in the way of so much. I apologize for going on about my personal life (something I hate to do), but I do want to post on here again, so I feel I owe my subscribers an explanation.
As you may recall, back in December, I stated that I was working 12-hour shifts Monday through Friday. This came to an end in early January, but that doesn’t mean I stopped working hard, of course. Then, spending time in the real world consumed me, on top of being a workaholic. I took a vacation in April to visit my grandmother, who is turning 99 later this year, and things actually seemed like they were going my way.
Well, I was wrong.
While on vacation, I learned that my grandfather (from the other side of the family) only had weeks to live, as opposed to months as we initially believed. His cancer battle (which had gone on since 2018) was coming to an end, despite his best efforts. I lost him on May 7, and my heart has been shattered ever since. I adored him, looked up to him, and he was the only grandfather I had ever known. My maternal grandfather, Albert, died eight years before I was born. My recently-deceased grandfather, Dick, had been a police officer for thirty years. H e had a phenomenal sense of humor, yet kept to himself. One of the last time I saw him, I was suffering from a cold and said, “Looks like we’re both coughin’, Grandpa.” He smiled and said, “Don’t say coffin in front of an old person.” When he passed, I was devastated. However, it hit when my uncle gave me something my grandfather kept on his wall for twenty years. In 2004, he had triple bypass surgery, so I made him a card that said: “Grandpa, I hope you get better. Love, Zachary. I love you!” When I saw it, I honestly had no idea what it was for at first, and have no memory of writing it.
Cue the waterworks.
They say grief (or any negative emotion) makes you more creative. I have been yearning to return to Substack, but found it difficult to do. So, I cannot promise a return to how it was before, but I will be posting here more often. I promise that much.
Please, take care, love one another, and tell those you hold dear you love them. I’m glad I got the opportunity….and I hate to imagine a world where I didn’t.
